Danny's Gotta Be Strong
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: Danny is aware that Don is slipping away from him and he decides to be strong and just let it happen. M/M pairing.


**AUTHORS NOTE: So I'm back with another CSI: NY story and I'd like to say for my first writing of this pairing (my favourite NY pairing) I have no idea how it ended up as an angst story. I'm normally all fluff and sweetness. It's based off Gene Pitney's song "I'm Gonna Be Strong" that was recently played as my grandad's funeral song. I suppose I just wanted to put a spin on it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters and the only rights to the song is every copy I bought on iTunes, I used the Del Shannon one.**

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><p><strong>[Danny's Got To Be Strong]<strong>

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><p><em>I can see you're slipping away from me<em>

The team are sat around the table, their laughter ringing around the small bar as they drink their pints of beer. Danny looks up and sees Don standing at the bar talking to a chick with bright red hair, a massive smile on her face as she leans in to touch the silk tie that Don is wearing. He swallows past the lump in his throat as he takes a drink of his beer. From his peripherals, he can see Don approaching and he smiles knowing that the only spare seat is beside him but when Don also notices this, he stops before dragging a seat over from an adjoining table and sitting down in a small space between Mac and Stella. Danny sighs, his gaze on his pint of beer as he realises that Don really was slipping away from him.

_You're so afraid I'll plead with you to stay_

Don offers Danny a lift home that night as Danny, thanks to Don's refusal to talk to him, had decided to hit the drink pretty hard. Danny had tried to argue, had tried to say that he'd be okay walking on his own but Mac had made it quite clear that he wanted Don to take Danny home to make sure that no harm came to the man. They arrived at Danny's apartment and Danny turned to look at him, his mouth open to ask the man to come inside but he could see the pensive look on the man's face that clearly read that that was the question he was fearing. He knew that Don wouldn't be able to come up with a good excuse for not coming up so he just smiled and thanked the man for bringing him home with a clap on the back before climbing out of the car.

_But I'm gonna be strong and let you go your own way_

The intense need to climb back into the car and plead for Don to think about this, to come inside and have a coffee was huge inside of Danny but he just tapped the top of the car before moving up towards the front door of his building. He stole one last glance at Don's car because he knew that the man would sit there until Danny got inside, he threw the man a careless wave and a smile because he knew that he needed to be strong and let Don go his own way even if it wasn't what Danny himself wanted.

_Our love is gone, there's no sense in holding on_

Standing up at his apartment, Danny takes hold of one of the few photos that he has decorating the small apartment. He has no idea how this could have happened to them. How did their love just disappear without him being aware? If he'd have known that it was going then he'd have done something to keep it going. He'd have tried his damned best to keep Don falling in love with him because Don was the best thing to ever happen to him. He sighed as he put the photo away in a drawer because he realised there was no real point in holding on any more.

_Cos your pity now would be too much to bear right _

The answering machine is filled with phone messages from Don begging with Danny to answer because he's worried. He doesn't want the man to do anything stupid when drunk or while he's out probably getting more drunk. Danny is in though. He's sat on his couch in the dark, his head hurting from the hardcore drinking session the night before as he listens to each message as they come through but he refuses to phone back and hear the pity in Don's voice as he apologises and makes sure that the man is okay. He wouldn't be able to bear it. Danny knew that hearing it would make him extremely angry and anger isn't what he needs to be feeling right now.

_So I'm gonna be strong and pretend I don't care_

Popping two aspirins with a glass of water, Danny smiles at his hungover reflection in the bathroom mirror. He looks like he's been dragged from hell and back but he has to be at work in two hours. He knows that if he would just phone Mac and pretend to be sick than he'd get a day off and just lie in bed but he wasn't going to do that. He was going to go into work and pretend that he didn't care about what was happening around him. That's what Danny always did. He pretended to be strong and he always got away with it. Why should today be any different?

_I'm gonna be strong and stand as tall as I am_

Danny walks into the office and wolf whistles as Montana moves through the corridors with the usual sway of her hips, she smiles at him and makes a flippant comment about how he looks like hell. He just grins and responds with how she always knows what to say to make him feel good before moving on his way. He knew that being at the office would be all he needed to keep his strong composure because here he was ten feet tall. Here was where he felt most comfortable and the people all loved him. Then as if to prove this point, he sees Adam waving for him frantically over at his lab. He smiles and moves in.

_Yes, I'm gonna be strong and let you run along and take it like a man_

The piece of evidence that Adam has pretty much breaks the case that Danny had been working on the day before but he'd been sent home by Mac to have a few drinks and then sleep. He claps the young man on the shoulder, his hand lingering as Adam continued to explain what it was that he'd found even though he knew Danny already knew. The team all knew that they had to allow Adam his moments of glee because he liked knowing that the team were proud of him. Looking up, a huge grin on his face at the cute puppy dog routine happening in front of him and found himself staring into Don's baby blue eyes. The slight glare in his eyes made Danny aware of how long his hand had been on Adam's shoulder but he didn't care. He clapped the back one last time, congratulated him and then moved out of the office without a word to Don because he was going to act like a man today. Nothing was going to bring him down, not today anyway.

_When you say it's the end_

Danny, the detectives calls out and Danny stiffens as he reaches out for the door to the break room. He remembered his pact to take today in his stride and turned round to smile at the detective even though he could see it in the man's eyes that he didn't want to hear what he was going to say. Together they move into the break room and Danny starts to make himself a coffee while Don nervously watches. It's over, the detective suddenly blurts out and Danny just turns to look at him, a sad smile on his face.

_I'll hand you a line_

Danny can feel himself slipping but he doesn't want to lose control here at the office so he just continues grinning, his hand tightening on the mug as he headed to the door. Just before he left, he turned back round to face the detective and just flashed him that cheeky grin that had everyone falling for him in the first place. Well it was good as it lasted, he joked brightly before calling for Montana as she passed the door so that they could walk together.

_I'll smile and say, don't you worry I'm fine_

The detective calls Danny back to him and Montana continues on her journey, not wanting to disturb the two men because everyone could sense that something weird was happening between them recently. Are you okay?, the detective demands to know and Danny just laughs as he takes a sip of his coffee. He shrugs his shoulders, a carefree smile hiding the pain he feels as he mutters the simple lie that everyone always says, I'm fine.

_But you'll never know, darling, after you kiss me goodbye_

Looking around him nervously, Don reaches out and strokes Danny's cheek. The touch is too tender for what Danny needs to feel so he ducks away slightly but that doesn't deter Don who just hooks his fingers under the man's chin so that he can make him look at him. Danny can see the hurt in the detective's eyes too but decides not to comment and just allows the man to press a simple kiss to his lips before he whispered goodbye against his lips and turned away, leaving the building.

_How I'll break down and cry_

Dropping the mug of coffee, Danny finds himself running to the toilets. The cubicle door slamming behind him as he fell down to the floor, his hands digging at his short blonde locks as he lets the sobs that have been threatening to fall since the previous night fall. He doesn't hear the door open or even notice Stella there holding him. He just allows for himself to cry, his heartbreaking at losing something so damned important and for not having tried harder to fight for it.


End file.
